Kelly showing us all her curves

When you Google Kelly Brook, there’s only one thing that takes up more column inches than mentions of her 32E assets.

And that’s the constant abuse branding her as stupid and apparently talentless. Her ‘crimes’ include her first TV gig at 18 as co-presenter on The Big Breakfast (where she resigned amid criticism she couldn’t pronounce long words), fronting the awful but addictive Celebrity Love Island, appearances in a string of forgettable films and being dropped from Britain’s Got Talent after six days.

Other female celebs have committed worse crimes against showbiz, but get off far more lightly. So what’s the deal? We were on a mission to find out after an exclusive invitation to talk to Kelly, who is the new face of the Specsavers Spectacle Wearer Of The Year Competition.

When she bounces into the lobby of the London hotel where we’re meeting, she looks much tinier than she does on TV, although she’s 5ft 8in. She’s gorgeous in that annoyingly natural way, dressed in skinny jeans, black vest top and leopard skin pumps. She’s on time (a rarity in Celebland), without an entourage (even rarer), and offers to buy me coffee and breakfast (just plain unheard of) before we settle onto a sofa…

‘So, let me guess which pictures from the shoot you’re using for the cover… the PVC catsuit ones, right?’ Kelly asks with her big old laugh. ‘But what did you think of the glasses. What? You think they make me look brainy? Nooooo. That’s hilarious.‘

A model who’s not afraid to send herself up, the girl’s obviously a freak. So since she’s mentioned brains, why is she accused of not owning any? ‘I think the reason people have a go at me is because I’m happy’, she says with a huge grin. ‘People don’t want to see a happy person, do they? I’m too busy to think about it. If no one was calling me with work and it was affecting my career, I would be really p*ssed off. But it really doesn’t worry me.’

So, does she think she’d have an easier ride if she were less happy and more of a car crash? ‘Yeah maybe, or my boyfriend was cheating on me or something. It’s not like I don’t have problems, everyone does. It’s just that I choose to deal with my stuff in private and it’s not out there in front of everyone.

‘I love what I do. The criticism is a bullying thing and I’m not going to give in to the bullies. I‘m not going to be told I can’t do something or be labelled as something by someone who’s never even met me. People keep wanting me to front their campaigns, so I must be doing something right. So what’s my crime? It’s not like I’m selling my private life or exploiting my relationship, or slagging people off.’

Despite the knocks, Kelly has always licked her wounds in private. But last year after being dropped as the fourth judge on Britain’s Got Talent she spoke out about Ant and Dec’s part in her downfall.

Kelly explains, ‘I didn’t need that job, I wasn’t pursuing a career in TV. Simon Cowell called me and I was grateful and flattered. But it was my decision to leave, it wasn’t like they just got rid of me. I never would have said anything about anyone… the only reason I responded several months later is because Ant and Dec chose to write about me in their autobiography. I thought, “Oh come on, do you really need to use me to sell your book? Enough already.” There was a point where I just went, “No, f** off.” But I wasn’t going to have two of the most powerful men in TV kick me when I was down. I was happy to be out of there to be honest after a few days, it was a circus.

‘I don’t bear a grudge against them. But just for the record, apparently I asked them what they did on the show (laughs). I don’t recall that, maybe I did, but it wasn’t like, “I don’t know who you are“, it was more like, “What are you going to be asking people?”’

Despite that setback, Kelly has become a bit of a national treasure in the last couple of years. In 2007, she looked like a frontrunner to win Strictly Come Dancing until she pulled out because of the death of her dad Ken. She got pretty good reviews for getting her buns out on stage in Calendar Girls earlier this year and her new movie Piranha 3-D can be seen in the summer.

Personally, she’s never been happier. In the past, she’s had two long-term relationships with Lock, Stock star Jason Statham and US actor Billy Zane (who she was engaged to). But current boyfriend, rugby player Danny Cipriani, 22, seems to be ‘the one’ and her priority is getting ready to make the move to Australia with him in September when he joins the Melbourne Wasps.

‘No, I’m not emigrating,’ she says firmly. ‘I’ve always followed my heart and my instincts are to be with someone I really love and support. If I end up getting a job out there, it’s a bonus. I’m quite happy. I’ve made a good living, I’ve got my gorgeous house in Kent and I’ve got everything I’ve ever dreamed of. So now it’s just time to relax and tick over. To have this opportunity with my new love somewhere where the sun shines – that’s a big thing for me.

‘Danny wasn’t happy for a long time, but now Australia is something to look forward to and he’s got this fire in him and he’s playing amazing right now. And Rocky, my dog, who was a Christmas present from Danny is coming too. He’s already got his passport.’

For someone who’s supposed to have a reputation for being stupid, the girl seems to have a pretty smart attitude to everything. And if her critics don’t see that, they should go to Specsavers too…